Stomach Aches

How do I determine the root cause especially if it involves the mental health of my kid?

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Question

Dear Clem,

Every year nearing the holidays, my six year old son complains of stomach aches. Between family dinners, sugary treats (like gingerbread cookies and candy canes), changes in school routine and excitement, I can’t tell if it’s overindulgence, stress, or something more serious. How do I determine the root cause especially if it involves the mental health of my kid?

Holly, from the Valley

Clem's Response

Woof, woof. Stomach aches are a very common complaint in young children, and it’s definitely tricky to know what action to take. Abdominal pain can be linked to both physical and medical conditions, and to emotional distress. Pain location, severity and duration are some clues to help with pin pointing a more specific diagnosis.

Next time, your son says “my tummy hurts,” “my belly feels sore,” check for accompanying physical symptoms such as vomiting or diarrhea, this may indicate that there is a medical cause for the pain. If you notice that his pain comes and goes and/or is also associated with headaches, fatigue and dizziness it could be that your son’s body is reacting to a feeling.

We all have physical feelings that come with our emotions thanks to the mind-body connection. Strong emotions such as fear, sadness, and anger can all affect our gut due to a complex network of nerves called the “enteric nervous system” (ENS), that acts as “second brain” located in our digestive tract. Emotional stomach aches are often brought about by external stressor(s), however, most kids don’t have the language to describe stress. It’s not always easy even as an adult to identify when our emotions can connect to physical (somatic) symptoms.

Try asking open ended and non-leading questions to your son about what he might be feeling, offer validation and help him to understand. You might say, “your tummy hurts because your brain is letting you know that it thinks something dangerous is happening. It’s your body responding to a false alarm or warning signal.” Having an open, non-judgemental conversation with your son about what’s happening when he feels this way might reveal more about how the holidays trigger this response.

In the moment, you can address his distress by offering coping strategies like deep breathing and muscle relaxation which can help his nervous system to return to a state of calm. A therapist or counselor might also help put a name to the underlying causes of his stress during the season and can help to develop targeted tools to manage his experience.

Wishing you and yours a peaceful holiday ahead!

Ruff, Ruff, Ruff, Merry Christmas

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