Woof, woof! By noticing and caring about your foster child’s self-esteem, you are already taking the first step in helping them redefine how they perceive themselves. Your continued support and encouragement can make a lasting difference!
Researchers have found that self-esteem forms early in life. A 2016 study published in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology determined that by as young as five we have already developed a fundamental sense of self-worth. Self-esteem is deeply influenced by the relationships we have with those closest to us. Feeling valued and worthwhile starts with knowing we are loved unconditionally. A strong foundation of kindness, empathy and attentiveness can reinforce a child’s sense of security and belonging.
Family rituals such as shared meals or bedtime routines can strengthen interpersonal bonds. You might try encouraging your child to take the lead in household activities – like setting the table or planning a meal. Likewise, taking interest and supporting their ideas even if they are different from your own can send a powerful message: “Your thoughts and feelings matter.” You can also help them by setting achievable goals, such as those small things that you know they will be able to accomplish and that they would already be excited to do.
Children learn not only through direct interactions but also by observing the behavior of adults. You can set a positive example for your child to follow by demonstrating how to speak kindly about yourself and others and how to handle mistakes with grace. A great way to do this is to voice self-compassion out loud so your child can hear you. You can use phrases such as, “It is okay I made a mistake, I am not a failure.” In the moment, you can also prompt your child to think about how they would support a close friend who was in a similar situation.
Self-esteem is also built through connections outside the home. You can encourage positive engagement with extended family members, participation in community groups, or joining a sports team and extracurricular activities. These interactions can help your child feel valued beyond the immediate family, strengthening their self-worth in different social settings and experiences.
Supporting a child’s self-esteem is an ongoing process that can ebb and flow. It isn’t about perfection but presence. By showing children they are loved, valued, and capable, we help them grow into confident individuals ready to navigate the world.
Many tail-wags to you,